Thursday, April 29, 2004

RiverRock Most Admired Company...

I'd heard about this little mix-up. But I didn't know until this article that the company is based in Port Angeles, WA!!! The old family homestead (on my Dad's side) is just outside PA - I still have an aunt and cousins that live around there. Hmmm... I guess maybe there *are* jobs up there, if we ever decide to ditch Portland. I'd love to work for a company like this!!

Chance Meetings on the SuperHighway

In one of those weird little quirky coincidences of the information age, my cell phone happens to have nearly the exact same phone number as a little Bed & Breakfast in Eastern Oregon. I get lots of interesting calls for them – people looking for reservations; once a hysterical woman left a voicemail trying to track down her wayward husband

“Faith*??” This is Mary Smith – is Frank there? *Sob* He was supposed to be home last night but isn’t here; and he didn’t call *incoherent weeping* …I know he stays there sometimes. If you see him could you tell him how worried I am and to call me????”

Faith is apparently the name of the innkeeper. Usually I just ignore the messages or quickly tell people the correct number if they happen to reach me. But in this particular case I couldn’t do that. She deserved to know her plea for help had not reached it's intended audience. So I broke from tradition and called her back, leaving a message with the right number. Unfortunately she never called me back so I’ll never know if Frank made it home OK; or if he’d just gotten caught screwing around.

I’ve always been rather fond of B&B's, ever since my parents & I stayed in one in Cape May, NJ when we attended my brother’s graduation from Coast Guard boot camp. So maybe because we watched Bagdad Cafe last night (a quirky, funny little film about a little hole in the wall reststop in the middle fo nowhere); and maybe because I had another request for reservations on my phone this morning my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to find out more about this place on the internet. No webpage, but they are mentioned in several travel guides. This one paints a particularly bucolic vision of the town, Ione and the B&B.

Snip: "What do you DO in Ione (population 300)? Well, go for a walk. Sit in the park. Talk with the neighbors. Breathe warm evening air that stirs with the sense of gardens growing, the sound of sprinklers turning. Gaze at rose-colored sunsets and slow rising moons. In short, to be, as Dylan Thomas puts it, "young and easy under the apple boughs and happy as the grass was green."

Armed with more info, I called them to introduce myself today on the pretext of asking them to check to see if they have any brochures or listings with the incorrect area code. Faith was wary, kind of reserved... but nice. I think she thought I was a nutcase. No, they don't have a webpage and they don't really advertise anywhere... she didn't know how people might be getting my number. So I'm kind of chalking it up to divine intervention - a message from the universe that one of these days, when we get sick of the rat race in the city we might just have to go visit in person. In fact, I think there's a premise for a novel in here somewhere. If only a could find a quiet, peaceful place to write it..... maybe Ione??

Clive Cussler's "Sahara" coming soon to a theatre near you?

Oh, I do hope they work out all this legal crap and & get Cussler back on board the project. Dirk Pitt was made for the big screen and Matthew McConaughey will be absolutely yummy as Dirk... *sighs dreamily* James Bond? Pleeeaaase.... he's a pretentious boor in a penguin suit next to my baby Dirk. Now if they could just get Ed Harris in the film somehow.....

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Scully Was right, after all....

In case you're dying to find out (as I was) what conclusions the scientists eventually came to regarding the Fires of Canneto di Caronia (see April 5 post - sorry I can't link directly to it); Bob, author of the Shade Tree Physics website , was kind enough to take pity on my "what's up?" email and provide an update:

"Dear Kelli - Initially I was a bit skeptical about the idea of a geothermal hot spot producing an electron cloud on the surface by some unidentified dissociation process., It now, however, dawns on me that red hot magma should boil off electrons by thermionic emission. If that hot spot is not too far below the town, the electrons should not have much trouble working their way to the surface.

See my new comment at the bottom of the "insert" page A Canneto di Caronia (ME) at: http://www.ebicom.net/~rsf1/cann-for.htm One new report has it that the fires tend to occur primarily when trains are approaching. Maybe the weight of the train compresses the ground and forces up an extra dose of the flammable gas (if such exists) or stirs up the local electon cloud.

Best regards, Bob F."

So basically... seismic/ volcanic activity under the town is creating a charged electric atmosphere above the surface which overcomes the insulators in electronics, causing them to combust. The phenomenon has abated recently and the civil authorities have installed lightning rods and grounding lines to help dissipate the energy.

Damn. My bet was on the devil.

Monday, April 26, 2004

Ya' Think?

If the United States is to win its "war on terror" it must overcome hostility abroad and halt the rise of militants with a new "Marshall Plan" for the Muslim world, two leading Democratic lawmakers say

Ya’ think? In any case, I’m really glad to see the Democrats coming out with this. Voters typically don’t like switching horses in the middle of a stream. Maybe they’ll reconsider if they see their original mount has “spooked” and is headed hellbent for election straight toward that waterfall up ahead while the alternative is actually determined to make his way *across* the turbulence to safety on the other shore. That’s all Kerry needs – a little cheesy cowboy rhetoric to counter Bush's "back at the ranch" imagery.

The "Close your eyes & wish it away" method of geopolitical action, by GW Bush

Oh, I wish I could have been there! Mass Protest Decries Bush Abortion Policies . For a pretty good list of the specific ways in which Bush seems to have declared war on women, check this out: War On Women.

I just don't get Bush's blind devotion to abstinence. Yeah, sure - it works so long as you don't fall off the wagon, but that's a very hard thing to do. A recent study shows 88% of those teens who make virginity pledges still have sex before marriage. This is compared to 99% of non-pledgers. Pledgers do have fewer sex partners - but here's the downside (in my mind, anyway) they get married at a younger age. Which indicates to me, at least that they're just getting married because they're horny. Oh yeah, that's the foundation for a good, solid stable marriage.

Don't get me wrong - I think abstinence is a great option - I practiced it myself for extended periods of time before I got married. The problem is; Bush wants to teach kids that abstinence is the ONLY option for birth control - that it's the ONLY option for protecting themselves against STD's. He wants to INTENTIONALLY and DELIBERATELY keep kids IGNORANT of other ways to have sex safely and responsibly. So in Bush's ideal world, when they *do* fall off the wagon (as 88% of them DO) they are completely vulnerable to getting pregnant and catching STD's. They'd have no access to emergency contraception, or a safe first trimester abortion, or healthcare if they catch HIV's. Because in Bush's mind, they should be PUNISHED for CHOOSING to have unprotected sex - nevermind that he left them NO OTHER fucking choice. Literally.

Sorry for all the CAPS - it's something I get pretty worked up about. It's this fucking lose-lose situation he wants to force people into. Adhere to *MY* strict right wing religious beliefs about sex and marriage or suffer the consequences you heathen scum!! And what's worse is, he's not just trying to impose them on Americans. He's locking up all US funding and support for global reproductive health care, family planning and HIV prevention/care contingent upon foreign citizens complying with those beliefs, as well.

This is where the idiocy really shines through. Bush's master plan for fighting HIV in Africa (sorry - no specific source - I saw it on an OPB interview), for instance is to push (& fund) only "abstinence until marriage" programs. If he'd bother listening to any of the organizations who actually *work* in Africa and understand the culture and history there; he'd know that marriage is not defined the same way there as it is here, so there's a large % of couples living together or otherwise in long-term relationships who aren't, technically "married"; and that African men are not particularly known for their fidelity anyway (maybe not the women either, but I've only heard of the high incidence of men infecting women). Nevermind that rape is so prevalent in parts of Africa - specifically in Rwanda where an estimated 11% of all females, or approximately 535,000 women, living in Rwanda at the time of the genocide were victims of a concerted rape campaign. During the course of the rape campaign, an average of 4 women were violently sexually assaulted, most of them by HIV+ men, every minute of every hour of every day for 100 consecutive days. More than 67% of women who were raped in 1994 during the genocide are now facing death from AIDS. Now the same thing is happening in the Sudan; and not just to females.

So what's Bush expect these people to do? Prove under oath that their pregnancy/ HIV was a result of rape before he'll let UA funded air organizations provide care or perform an abortion?

Saturday, April 24, 2004

"I have no particular talent. I am merely inquisitive." (Albert Einstein)

Did I ever mention I have the same astrological sign as Einstein? Yep - we're both Piscean. (That might explain why I'm so enthralled of rivers, huh? The fun little game on the Brother Bear DVD even said my totem was the salmon). Needless to say I've always felt a certain kinship to the man especially once I learned he shared my INTP Myers-Brigg type, too (only 5% of us in the population - aren't we special?). It's not so much his scientific theories that intrigue me - it's his views on God & Religion and everything else ; in my egomaniacal moments I like to imagine we think alike. Two people with great imagination who are at heart; incredibly curious about the world around them, enjoying swimming through life upstream against the currents of "accepted" societal norms. The difference, of course is sheer amount of brain power - and mental discipline (which I sorely lack). Anyway, they've recently found a diary written by his last girlfriend which chronicles his last years. Despite his apparently shitty treatment of his first wife; I still admire the old bird. Had I been in Ms. Fantova's shoes, I'd've gone for the old fart too.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

What Smurf Are You?

Around our house, we've adopted the word "Smurf" as the snarky argument equivalent of "uncle". When one of us has had enough of whatever fight we're currently engaged in and is starting to feel like it's moving into irreparable "you hurt my feelings" territory, we cry "smurf" to tell the other to knock it the fuck off, seriously. Because, after all - who embodies warm fuzzy "why can't we all just get along" vibes better than the smurfs? So I was very curious when Frog posted a link to the Smurf Name Generator to see exactly *which* smurfs we were evoking. Turns out I'm "Meshugana Smurf" whatever the fuck that means - if I slip my middle initial in there I'm either "Boozy Smurf" or "Radioactive Smurf" depending on where I put the initial; and "Megatron Smurf" or "Full Monty Smurf" using my full middle name. Curt is "Super Absorbant Smurf" which is strangely appropriate given his obsession with toilet paper (Charmin with Aloe is harder to find than you'd think, thankyouverymuch). Had we both hyphenated our last names after marriage as we'd once discussed, we'd be "Squanto Smurf" and "Transparent Smurf" respectfully - one more reason not to do it, I'd say.

**Editorial note: Further research tells me "Meshugana" is Yiddish; an daccording to the Yiddish glossary it means "Mad, Crazy & Insane Woman". Which is also strangely appropriate. I feel so uncool when people throw out hip Yiddish slang and I'm totally oblivious. *sigh*

River Me This....

I’m not terribly thrilled with the original “Three Rivers” title of the blog. It was originally inspired by the name of the (now defunct, I think) regional athletic league my high school was a member of and was the only riverish reference I could come up with to match my signature Norman Maclean quote (the *true* inspiration for the blog). So I’m now entertaining several alternatives:

RiverRocks (current)
River City (one of Portland’s many monikers)
Riverine!!! (picture a Red Dawn type call to action, like C. Thomas Howell’s screaming “Wolverines!”)

Any other riveresque suggestions are wholeheartedly welcomed.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Battle of the Mother In Laws

Both my mother and Curt's mother are R.N.'s. Which is convenient when we have some minor health malady going on. But currently they're both on a mission to diagnose Curt's underlying 'problem'; of metabollic syndrome (i.e. pre-Diabetic insulin resistance); chronic fatigue and general feeling of crappiness. Obviously, the weight is a big contributor of all that - but Curt swears he felt the same way even when he was younger and in incredibly good shape. So now my mom is convinced his problema are due to his low testosterone; and Curt's mom is convinced they're due to sleep apnea. Both base their information on supposedly brilliant rogue doctors. It has all the drama potential of amade for TV movie, I tell 'ya: Battle of the Mother In Laws!! Stay tuned for play by play action.

Monday, April 19, 2004

Where are Scully & Mulder?

Just one of the truly trivial things I'm currently obsessing about: MSNBC article Basically, there's this little Sicillian town where all things electrical are spontaneously combusting into flame (is that redundant?) but apparently *only* when humans are present. Locals & their priest think it's the work of the devil and believe sacrificing a goat might fix the problem; but they've decided to let the scientific community investigate first. So far, the Luciferian theory is whipping the piss out of anything the scientists can come up with, though this guy has his own theory The Fires of Canneto di Caronia and is looking for someone to fund his expedition to Italy to investigate personally.

Friday, April 16, 2004

I'm finally taking the plunge

into true blogdom and have begun posting links to my favorite blogs. Maybe in the sad hope that some of them might be intrigued at finding the link in their tracking statistics and find their way back to mine. Right now I have an audience of one, I think - my dear hubby and it's getting a little lonely in River City.

And I'm adding a few new ones, as well - Long Story, Short Pier is one I'm newly intrigued by - if for nothing else than the really cool old pics/photo's; and equally intriguing links such as this Mona-Lisa synch.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Can't let the Fuckwits win

Don't ask why - something to do with anti-semitic racist asshats googlebombing the word Jew; making their vile website google's #1 result - and a call to bloggers everywhere to link to an actual Jewish informative site to foil their evil plot.

Sometimes small things are easiest.

Monday, April 12, 2004

Circle of Smirk

Yes, I've been a very bad, bad blogger. In my defense I *have* had several "hey that's kind of an interesting thought - I should blog that!" instances in the last week; but I just never quite had the gumption to set them down. So you'll have to make do with some general "what's going on in my life right now" musings instead.

We had a gorgeous 80 degree Easter weekend. Brunch @ Dad's - then we attended a spur of the moment BBQ with my bro, Kyle* & his wife Beth* and my bro’s best old friend Barry* and his wife Judith* that evening. Now, Barry’s never really been a friend of mine – in fact, quite the contrary as I found out when he reminisced about throwing one of my romantical Kah-Nee-Ta conquests up against the wall to warn him against ‘dating’ me. Having one over protective big brother interfering with my love life was bad enough – I certainly didn’t need his friends jumping on the bandwagon, too. But I got my revenge a year later by sleeping with Kyle’s new best friend when my best friend Karen* and I visited him in Maui. Yeah, I still remember that vacation very fondly. I got a little revenge against Barry the other night, too by mentioning a mutual friend of his & Kyle’s who Barry had at one time been dating – then later had an affair with while he was dating Judith; after she’d given him 2 illegitimate kids. Had she not been present; and were we not wanting him to do some electrical work for us I might have twisted that knife a little deeper by mentioning the *ahem* “premature” aspects of that illicit relationship that I was made privy too by that mutual friend.

But that would just be cruel. Right now I’m feeling more that a little sorry for the guy. When Kyle had talked about Barry before he’d always talked about how well he was doing. Making lots of “bank” as an electrician – buying his own house and having lots of toys (of the all-terrain variety). Needless to say this rankled me quite a bit as Barry was always viewed by our family (and the community in general) as a bit of a loser; who would never amount to anything. I, on the other hand was the prodigal child who everyone Expected Great Things Of. So from where I stood (in a 670 sq ft apartment making at most half of what Barry was bringing in) it wasn’t quite right. Yeah, it’s petty I know. So I was reassured a few weeks back when Kyle & Beth revealed that life with Barry wasn’t all it’d been cracked up to be. Their house, according to K & B was a bit of a shithole and though Barry’s wife was a SAHM; so disgusting they couldn’t stand to spend more than a couple of hours there visiting. Granted - I've been a card-carrying member of the slob brigade myself for most of my life but the petty, small, jealous part of myself that I'm in no way proud of was curious to see how bad life was like for the old Barryman - in order to, yes - once again feel superior.

So off to Barry's we went and as slovenly as their house was, my much anticipated air of superiority was tainted by the realization that for Barry & Judith - life ended after kids. Barry lives in a perpetual twilight world of "remember when I kicked so & so's ass?" and I can't really tell when Judith ever had a life aside from him & the kids. A fun evening for them is sitting on the porch, drinking beer and smoking, maybe sitting in the hot tub overlooking the trailer park next door and making fun of the inhabitants. Helloooo….. you’ve got a split level ranch in serious need of repair and weird bacteria/hairbunny/toothpaste spit mutant colonies growing in the corners of your bathroom. WTF are you so proud of?

But everyone needs someone to feel superior over. Barry has the trailer park dwellers, I have Barry – shit the trailer dwellers probably gloat over what they perceive as my shitty life, so I guess it’s just the circle of smirk in action.

Disappointed as I may be at times that I’m not a svelte high powered attorney; corporate executive or best selling author (as I fully expected to be when in high school), if nothing else I can say I *lived* before I settled down, dammit! Shit – I still do – and fully expect that to continue if/when we have kids. Both Curt & I still have hopes and dreams that we’re working towards. We take some pride (though definitely not arrogance) in our house, and invest sweat and money into making it nicer than it was when we bought it. And probably most important – we continue to have little adventures in life, giving us ample post-high school stories for BBQ consumption. And the thing is – I’m sure they do have plenty of stories from their life after turning 21 – what’s sad, I think is that they’re more proud of the people they were and the lives they led before then.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Pride Doesn't Pay The Bills

You know, so far I like my new job. There’s just one small, minor negative that’s proving there’s good and bad in every situation. As I mentioned before, a couple of the guys in my dept. apparently are rather politically conservative. Which would be fine if they’d just keep their close-minded, idiotic views to themselves. But no. They feel the need to share. It started with the bashing of the European political systems as I've mentioned before; then they started bashing the new progressive talk show network, Air America Radio which has launched in Portland on AM 620 this week. E & D listen for a short while then criticize that "you'd think they could hire better producers - it sounds like high school radio"; "They just sound bitter and angry"; and "isn't that the same thing they were talking about yesterday" you know - I could say the same and worse about conservative talk radio hosts; from Limbaugh to fucking Dr. Laura but I don't.

Then tooday E. was talking to one of our branch offices about whoknowswhat; and after he got off the phone he says “Wow – did you know Will* (the owner/Pres) has a rule that we can’t hire people for temp jobs if they haven’t worked in 6 months? I can understand that if they have a criminal background, or maybe if we had low unemployment, but Oregon’s still got the highest unemployment rates in the country. So this branch has already lost two of their biggest customers who are now using another temp agency that does hire these people”. Yeah – I’d say that’s whacked. Doesn’t bode well for the business intelligence of management. But then, here’s the annoying part. I add that why no, that doesn’t seem very smart – people will often only turn to temp work after all hopes of finding work in their chosen field is gone, which can often be more than 6 months; or even wait until their unemployment benefits run out – because if you take a lower paying job you’re screwed not just financially; but then you have no time to devote to a job search – and it looks bad on a resume when you do try to go back to your old field. To which D. replied with a rather sneering “yeah, why would anybody want to work instead of enjoying a paid vacation??. I’d never take unemployment”. I replied that I’d always had the same attitude until I was put in that situation (didn’t mention Hubby’s extended involuntary “vacation”) and decided that those funds had been paid in for a great many years on my behalf and I might as well use them. Since D. has a wife & 3 kids; his attitude was rather surprising. E asked him “why not?” “I’ve got my pride” was D’s reply; clearly indicating I should be ashamed for dipping into the socialist welfare system.

Yeah, well – pride doesn’t pay the mortgage, put food on the table or shoes on your kids’ feet, dickwad. I’ve worked damned hard to get where I am career-wise and I’m not going to watch all that hard work get flushed down the toilet just because people like you, who have probably never had to bust your ass working 3 menial jobs at a time think it’s “shameful”. Talk to me about pride when you lose your fucking house and are moonlighting as a pump jockey because you were too good to “go on the dole”. Bet the kids will be real proud of Daddy then, won’t they?

Monday, April 05, 2004

Parenting 101

If/when we do spawn, must remember this lesson by : Defective Yeti

Calling Scully & Mulder...

I’m going to follow this definitely odd story pretty closely: Sicilian Blazes Put Science to the Test .

Snip: “A series of spontaneous fires started in mid-January in the town of Canneto di Caronia in about 20 houses. After a brief respite last month, the almost daily fires have flared up again -- even though electricity to the village was cut off.
An endless flow of scientists, engineers, police and even a few self-styled "ghostbusters" have descended on the town searching for clues to the recent spontaneous combustion of everything from fuse boxes to microwave ovens to a car. “

But even though locals are convinced it’s the devil at work; they & the local priest have decided to let the scientists take first crack at solving the mystery. So far, the scientists are failing. It’s going to be rather interesting to see if any attempts at exorcism end up doing the trick.

Friday, April 02, 2004

Mutual Mastication?

Little did my new co-workers realize G. had hired a *gasp* LIBERAL!!! Good thing you can’t discriminate on the basis of political beliefs or my ass might go right back out the door. Poor guys – I guess I’m a killjoy – I think a big part of their day was spent discussing politics before I came on board. Now they try to get a good discussion going about how shitty the European (read “more socialist”) systems are compared to ours and I sit here and throw in my 2 cents of “sounds good to me” and suddenly everyone gets real quiet and starts working furiously again. Hey, at least I’m not one to slap ‘em with a harassment suit when they start discussing how hot Erin Moran was in Buck Rogers. I just casually mention how great Gil Gerard’s spandex-wrapped physique was, too. Yeah – I’m a killjoy all right.

Having a politically charged working atmosphere might be good or bad from my honey’s point of view. Good if I get my argument fix at work; bad if it just riles me up more when I come home to him. We shall see.

Other random thoughts of the day: I could use more little kisses from my honey, but he has this tendency to pucker up only when either his or my mouth is full of food; which is mildly vexing. Mutual masturbation is one thing but mutual mastication? Not so much.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

What the hell *is* a Scuzzy drive, anyway?

**8/31/09 Update: For those of you reaching this post via a search of "scuzzy drive" - I can now tell you it's actually "SCSI" - a set of standards for physically connecting and transferring data between computers and peripheral devices .

Note to self: please remember to look for and call the nice people at the Oregon Unemployment Office who finally sent you a job referral 4 weeks after you’d gotten a job and quit claiming benefits to advise them of your change in status.

Also, please remember to check the mirror a little harder before heading out to work in the morning. For cripe’s sake the other day your shirt was inside out and today, it’s stained. I can’t believe your husband lets you walk out the door like that!

Apparently impressed with my fanatical knowledge of early 80’s sci-fi shows, my new co-workers have insisted I take this Geek Test. Apparently, I outscored them with 29.6%, which makes me a “Total Geek”. But I still don’t know what the hell a scuzzy drive is.

We got a visit from the cutest pair of ducks the other day. The female sat her ass down right in front of our door - I was worried for awhile she'd build a nest there and block my quick escape route to the river trail. But no, they apparently didn't like our menu selection of hard, dried cereal which D. provided them with so they moved on to mooch elsewhere.