Sunday, November 16, 2003

Fuck Miss Manners!

I got the thank you's done! WOOHOO!!! And under my 2 month self-set deadline (just barely). Do men just not understand the importance of this stupid tradition? I mean, I'd have happily blown it off in favor of calling everyone and thanking them personally but by all that is Holy - that is just.not.done by a well-mannered bride in society. Curt said he'd already thanked most of his famliy by phone so he didn't see the point in sending a note. Of course he wouldn't! How could he possibly know that this act alone will determine my worth in *some* of his family's eyes? I don't know why I care - I shouldn't, really. I mean, I said "Fuck it" to the white dress, "Here Comes The Bride", traditional ceremony - why can't I say "Fuck it" to the thank you's, too? I guess because I truly *am* grateful for the gifts we received and want to express that. What's so amazing is that according to Miss Manners - brides have ONE YEAR to send thank you's (note - brides, not grooms.... of course). But my family doesn't give a shit about Miss Manners. I was destined to hear "so have you got your thank you's done?" at each and every contact with them until the deed was done. The nagging would not have stopped. So sue me - I caved into societal pressure.

The Buddhists have an interesting take on gratitude. I still haven't quite figured it out - but basically it's the theory that you should give for giving's sake - not with any intent to receive something in return (like a stupid THANK YOU CARD!!). But then, nobody's explained this philosophy to my family yet - and I don't know if they'd go for it in any case. Though Becky has started studying a little about meditation and Zen - so maybe there's hope.

No comments: