Tuesday, July 13, 2004

I have my very first prenatal visit to the doctor in 2 hours. Curt, unfortunately could not join me since he's starting a painting job today (on a probationary basis). Other job prospects are looking up - InHell has lifted their hiring freeze so it's possible he may get back on there, but that will take awhile.

So I get to ask all my silly questions like can I eat deli foods? How common/ dangerous *is* that whole toxoplasmosis thing?? Do I really need to quit arguing with my idiot brother about politics to keep my blood pressure down (as Curt is insisting I do?) Actually, on the last point I think I'll move to email instead of over the phone. Much more effective - I can send him links & everything to prove that even if he believes Bush is handling the war on terror well and was justified in going to Iraq his domestic policies are what are so damned scary. If it were anyone else I'd say "fuck it" but my brother remains the only person I can indulge in knock down, drag out 2 hour debates with. That habit of mine has a tendency of scaring the other 'normals' in my life, but it's kind of the only sick and twisted way my bro & I show our love.

The truly sad thing is, he used to be a good Liberal like the rest of us (though certainly not a clone) but since he's been in the Coast Guard, any discussion having to do with national security boils down to this cloak & dagger bullshit where he gets all patronizing: "now Sis, I'm privy to a lot more classified information that you'll never hear, and my #1 concern is to protect YOU and the rest of the country so just trust me on this..." Combine that with the fact that he has always been extremely susceptible to pursuasive individuals (like Dittoheads, which the military and rural communities he's been a part of for 10 years are chock full of) and you get the gist.

But I'm thinking for the sake of the baby, who probably doesn't appreciate my skyrocketing blood pressure or my skipping dinner to argue with his/her uncle; for the sake of the neighbors, who have to listen to me yelling into the cellphone in the backyard; for Curt, who gets pissed that I "allow" my brother to upset me so much... and possibly endanger the baby (a whole 'nother issue... but anyway); and for myself, who loses much-needed sleep laying awake at night forming my rebuttals and next offensives, I definitely need to change my tactics. But I'm not giving up on him yet.

No comments: