I have discovered Al Queda’s latest plot – Tempur-Pedic Memory Foam Beds. It’s an insidious plot – quite diabolical, really. Once every American has one they’ll never want to leave their bed. We’ll be sitting ducks for any attack they might dream up (though they’ll have to switch from commercial to residential targets); it will kill the economy (nobody will want to go to work) and will deal a devestating blow to the pharmceutical industry (no more demand for Rx pain killers to treat chronic back pain).
Count me in as one of the first victims. We were prompted by one especially miserable night on my 12 yr old Beautyrest, which for the first 10 years or so was a dream to sleep on. In the last 2 years, however it’s gone rapidly downhill. It now resembles a jungle torture pit with the center hollowed out, lined with painful rogue springs that poke and prod *just* as you’re drifitng off to sleep. The thought of spending the next 6 months on this bed of torture as my prego body gets more and more unweildy and uncomfortable was just too much to bear. Thankfully my dear husband agreed – he attributes a great many of his recent aches & pains & numb appendages to the bed and has been championing its replacement for quite awhile. When he abandoned the bed for the couch at 4:15 am Saturday morning due to insomnia and found me already in residence for the same reason, we finally agreed to bite the bullet, no matter the expense.
The first place we went to test the Tempur-Pedics Sat. afternoon couldn’t get one delivered to us for at least a week. So right at the stroke of closing we trundled into one of their competitor’s and made the salesman’s day. Our new 10” Tempur-Pedic was delivered bright and early Sunday morning!!! Around noon we laid down for a little nap. At 3:00 we woke up, drool-soaked pillows and all. I woke up this morning totally refreshed and with more energy that I’ve had in weeks. Some of that might be due to the nearing end of my 1st trimester but I think the bed has a great deal more to do with it. Fucking terrorists and their foam beds, anyway! Forgedabout Iraq, our *real* enemy are those damned Swedes!!!