Friday, October 01, 2004

Surprise, Surprise!

They're actually acknowledging that Kerry kicked ass last night! Even Fox! Guess I'd better invest in Hades Snow Blowers about now. It was beautiful, I must admit. Though I was a tad disappointed Kerry didn't take advantage of some of the soft balls Bush threw up in the air to slam it down. I know Johnny doesn't speak "good ole boy" but there's one phrase he should learn: "Wish in one hand and shit* in the other and see which one gets filled first". (*could substitute spit to avoid the R rating). Since every "plan" of Bush's to win the War on Terror revolves around wishing, and hoping and people just "knowing" things....

"Q: Do you believe the election of Senator Kerry on November the 2nd would increase the chances of the U.S. being hit by another 9/11-type terrorist attack?

BUSH: No, I don't believe it's going to happen. I believe I'm going to win, because the American people know I know how to lead. I've shown the American people I know how to lead. I have -- I understand everybody in this country doesn't agree with the decisions I've made. And I made some tough decisions. But people know where I stand. People out there listening know what I believe. And that's how best it is to keep the peace"

Naaah... we don't need no stinking guards for our chemical plants! We don't need no more cops to keep an eye out for suspicious characters, or more Arabic-speaking FBI agents to listen to tapes. We don't need nobody to inspect the 95% of cargo containers coming in our ports for possible explosives! We certainly don't need anybody to x-ray cargo that goes on planes.... Faith in our leader's leadership ability is all we need to keep us safe! Tell that to the kids in Iraq with no armor. When faced with bullets and carbombs and exploding planes, all we need to do is repeat the following mantra: "May Lord Bush keep me safe" and a magical protective energy force field will instantly envelop you. Phew! I feel so much safer now!

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