Tuesday, April 12, 2005

101 non-sexual uses for a vibrator

#1: Breaking up clogged milk ducts in breastfeeding women. Seriously. Necessity is indeed the mother of invention and why not try a sex toy that's otherwise gathering dust in the nightstand for a couple more weeks? Warm shower, hot heating pad and then apply vibe to affected area and pump. After 2 days of a painful clog it was like a dam had burst. I'm debating whether or not to share this little gem with the lactation consultants. Somehow, I don't think the Christian one who couldn't even spell "Buddhist" correctly on our pre-admission forms under "religious preference" would be willing to pass it on to other mothers. So I'm sharing it here. Note to Flea: You know in Alabama and Texas how it's illegal to sell any device for the purpose of "genital stimulation"? I'm wondering if they consider boobs "genitals" and if it might be possible to sell sex toys in those states as breastfeeding aids, instead??? Just a thought.

I'm posting from my mother's house down at the Coast. I'm in a much happier state of mind since firing the lactation consultants (and finally being able to immerse myself in a hot tub. Oh heaven!!) . Or, to be more specific.... finally making peace with the idea that it's OK for me to bottlefeed whatever milk I can pump and supplment with formula for the rest. Ironically enough, I think my volume has gone up quite a bit as a result. I was dreading some kind of "nipple confusion!" lecture from the l.c.'s but didn't get it. I think my OB scared 'em a little bit when she called to discuss my teary breakdown in her office last week and to tell them that no, she won't prescribe a drug the FDA has banned (Domperidone). I'd pretty much decided not to try it anyway. As my R.N. mother said... it would be one thing if I were 19, but I'm 33 and getting to an age where possible coronary side effects should be a consideration, especially given my family history of heart disease. And the Reglan and probable depression and fatigue side-effects? No fucking way. My OB put me on Zoloft to combat the depression I'm already feeling. Though truth be told, I think forgiving myself for not being able to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months went a long way to accomplish that already.

The Fry is now 1 month old and doing great. He'd actually gained 9 oz. in 3 days when I went to my final l.c. appointment on Friday... so I know the bottle feeding + supplementing is working. He actually does go between the boob and the bottle pretty easily, with only the occassional need to be reminded of how the real thing works. We bought a baby scale off of Ebay anyway so we can continue to monitor his gain in any case. And it's great to be able to hand him to any of the other very willing hands in our life to feed so I can feel like I have a life of my own again. For instance, today we're going to an actual movie in the middle of the afternoon (prime cluster feeding time) and then maybe, just maybe going to the Indian casino to play a little blackjack while Gramma babysits.

Oh, and you'll never believe this!! He slept through the night last night. Well, from 10:30 until 5 am. Though I'm sure it's a fluke. He didn't really get a good nap all day yesterday... we think due to excitement of socializing with Gramma and friends of Gramma who came over to ooh and aah. So he was exhausted. If it happens again tonight I'll probably fall down on my knees in gratitude to whatever gods gave us such a wonderful baby!

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