Tuesday, October 28, 2003

If You Eat That, Honey Your Feet Will Rot Off

whoa it's been awhile. I guess I should have been blogging myself through all the wedding planning/taking place nightmare stuff but I spent all my cyberenergy posting to MS. and surfing (as usual).

So I'm hitched! DIdn't feel weird until I called Curt at the office and identified myelf as "his wife" when they asked who was calling. Being married doesn't feel weird - as someone on MS put it, it's about the same as living in sin except now we've got matching dishes (and a shitload of thank you's to write). Being called a "wife" definitely feels weird, though.

First test of the marriage came upon our return when Mom brought up an extra kitten besides our foster kitten when they returned Jinx. He's adorable but has very sharp claws - and for some reason insists on raking them down Curt's bare flesh whenever the opportunity presents itself. I had to promise to get rid of one of the other 3 to keep Uno. Cleo of course is out of the question and as I told Curt, Ozzie's such an asshole nobody else would put up with him and he'd get his ass killed- so that leaves Jack the orange stray as my nominee. He at least stands a chance. I think I'm going to hit Gramma up as a possibility - he likes staying on the porch/in the barn and is nice and lovey when you want him to be.

So Curt's doc put him on a weight loss plan and we're on a diet. Mom couldn't contain her glee when I informed her. She positively delights in sharing the most morbidly grotesque stories from the hospital about overweight people who have diabetes. THen I try to trump her with graphic accounts of what happens to smokers and it's just not a pretty conversation.

Mom: "It's just that I worry so much, honey - you don't want to see what happens when people's feet rot off"
Me: "Oh, is it a prettier picture than someone with emphysema coughing up a bloody cancerous lung ?"

I've already caved and had a Twix bar instead of the carrot sticks I brought for my mid afternoon snack. I feel like such a failure. Hoepfully Curt will be so obsessed with job hunting/ finances he won't ask me how I did today :)

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