Forget Waldo - Where's Ernestine the Operator???

I'm off to pick up Dad's bronco, full of guaranteed creosote-free wood after work.

Do you ever get that little tickle at the back of your head when you know there's a possible incredible, groundshaking, earth shattering concept that could blast open the doors of personal wealth and power if you just knew how to capitalize on it? I'm getting one of those about the concept expressed in the Cluetrain Manifesto. I've barely begun to read it but the intro struck me:
"A powerful global conversation has begun. Through the Internet, people are discovering and inventing new ways to share relevant knowledge with blinding speed. As a direct result, markets are getting smarter—and getting smarter faster than most companies.
These markets are conversations. Their members communicate in language that is natural, open, honest, direct, funny and often shocking. Whether explaining or complaining, joking or serious, the human voice is unmistakably genuine. It can't be faked.
Most corporations, on the other hand, only know how to talk in the soothing, humorless monotone of the mission statement, marketing brochure, and your-call-is-important-to-us busy signal. Same old tone, same old lies. No wonder networked markets have no respect for companies unable or unwilling to speak as they do.
But learning to speak in a human voice is not some trick, nor will corporations convince us they are human with lip service about "listening to customers." They will only sound human when they empower real human beings to speak on their behalf."

Especially after being on the fucking phone for 39 minutes yesterday just trying to figure out how to get a real, live person on the phone at my mortgage company. Their automated phone tree directed me to their website, but I had a question *about* the services on their website (i.e. - it wasn't really clear where they did or did not charge a $11.99 fee for making an online payment)... which itself directed me to call the customer service line with questions. . Made me feel like that guy in Greek mythology who is doomed to push a boulder up a mountain only to have a huge bird eviscerate him at the top... oh wait... was it the guy who is surrounded by a lake which disappears every time he tries to bend his head to drink? Am I crossing my mythologies? Either way I feel like I'm in some 7th Hell reliving Howard Jones' old 80's song "No one is to Blame"

It's become kind of a game for me - calling automated phone trees and pushing 0 or * or # at every possible menu option to see which cyber rabbit hole will get me to a real, live breathing person who can actually answer my question. When I was at InHell we had a similar phone tree, so I know first hand what demented minds get off running callers through it like fucking rats in a maze. And Maude forbid you actually have a question that the designer *did not* anticipate in their automated script.

So anyway, I think these cluetrain manifesto authors are really on to something - it just feels a little too enormous for me to put a finger on... but some lucky SOB will understand completely and be the next Jeff Bezos. I tell 'ya if I had a few mill laying around I'd buy a phone, mortgage, insurance or utility company and promise to never.fucking.install an automated phone system.