Thursday, October 14, 2004

The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe & Everything....

Is No Child Left Behind. (Not 42).

Or so Shrub would like us to believe. After watching last night's dabate, it's clear he thinks educational reforms are the absolute answer to every problem that faces America. But only reforms of the NCLB variety, of course. His idiotic response to the moderator's question of "what would you tell someone who lost their job to someone overseas" was priceless. Why, we're losing our jobs because we're stupid and uneducated. Apparently the dozen or so highly intelligent, unemployed folks I personally know who have advanced degrees imagined their years of successful schooling. It must have been some kind of hallucinogenic mindtrip orchestrated by Saddam Hussein. They're really middle-school drop outs with delusions of grandeur. But never fear, Shrub is here! Apparently he's guaranteeing every community college graduate a decent, high paying job! Woohoo! Oh wait, you mean those jobs are driving truck in Iraq? hmmm.... maybe we should rethink that plan.

Bloggers far and wide are raising a collective eyebrow in confusion over this seemingly illogical response by Bush. But when you think about it, it *does* make sense. If, that is you just remember that Bush is his own educational reform poster child. He's obviously too stupid to be President (it's so haaaard....) and seems to think everyone in America is as illiterate and ignorant as he is. Except, perhaps John Kerry. Didn't you catch those open-mouthed, awestruck glances of amazement he sent in Kerry's direction when the Senator actually managed to *answer* the moderator's questions (and in complete sentences, too!) . So. Since Shrub is too stupid to even recognize, let alone actually be able to *solve* the problems facing our country today (i.e. unemployemnt, the economy, Social Security, health care, oh yeah - and terrorism) - his grand plan is to raise up a whole passel of youngins through NCLB who by gosh & by golly! might just be smart enough to succeed where he's failed in every one of these areas. It's a long-term plan.

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