Maude, my life is boring

- compared to the adventures of an English lass named Fiona who is working for a contractor in Iraq.

Ready! Set! Blog!

I just realized I've got like 5 minutes alone with nobody else in my little cubehood - time for a quickie. It's gorgeous here today. Mid 70's - all the tulips are in bloom and everything else is bustin' out all over. Curt got off early and came for a quick walk along the river. the Fisherpeople were out fishin and the ducks/ geese were gettin' it on (not sure which, but there was a lot of honkin' goin' on). You could see both Mt. St. Helens and Mt. Hood in all their snowcapped brialliance. I'm really liking my new digs.

My initial plan to wallow in menstrual, baby-less depression and crawl under the covers, not coming out until it was time to go to work on Monday was foiled by the nice weather. Besides one ass-chafing trip to Winco for our semiannual canned goods & meat stock up it was pretty nice. Note to self - NEVER AGAIN go to Winco on a Saturday afternoon. You used to be smart - you used to go after 10:00 pm. At least it wasn't raining this time.

Any Idiot can get pregnant

But apparently not this one. Say hello to little Aunt Flo. :(

5:00 and still no Flo

5:00 and still no Flo. Not that I'm anxious or anything. Or drinking tons of fluids so I have to pee every 20 minutes so I can check, or anything equally neurotic like that.

In other news, I'm checking out this place - just in case: Andaluz Waterbirth Ctr.

Gestatory Limbo

*ahem* Ok - don't panic, don't get too excited here, but maybe, just maybe, quite possibly one of Curt's swimmers *may* have triumphantly crossed the finish line last month. Fuckin' piss-on-a-stick test still says no, but Aunt Flo's over a week late and she's never been that late before. Never. Ever. She likes my Chicken & Dumplin's too much to miss dinner, I swear. So something must have happened to her in transit. Of course, we all no how much success I had with the ovulatory versions of the piss-on-a-stick tests so that might account for it. Though, come to think of it... if I *were* knocked up right before I began those tests they'd have come out negatory anyway, right? But if so then I'd surely be far along enough for the EPT to work?? Or maybe it happened during the 4th week of my cycle and it's still too early to show up???... The boobs are tender and I *might* be a little more tired than usual but aside from that, I'm not experiencing any other symptoms. In any event, time will tell.

I'd go to the ob/gyno to have them confirm (though I think they just have more expensive pisstests that aren't any more sensitive than the OTC ones) but I'm still in a bit of insurance limbo. My benefits won't kick in for another 2 months - Curt's tried to get me on his and we don't know if I'm covered or not. I should definitely be after the 1st. So I might as well give it a week and see what happens. I'll just abstain from the alcohol consumption and other prego "no-no's" until then, just to be on the safe side.

Of course, it could be what with the stress of starting a new job, and my wanting a baby so bad maybe I've subconsciouisly talked myself into a fake pregnancy? Stranger things have happened. In any event, I'm also not experiencing any symptoms of the premenstruel variety (besides aforementioned boob tenderness), either (like cramps and mood swings) which typically presage Flo's arrival.... so, WTF?

Lunch from Hell

Have you ever had fire extinguisher go off in your car while driving? I can now say that I have! Woohoo!!! Not as much fun as you'd think. Dad's borrowed full-size Bronco, extinguisher rolling around loose in the back... sudden stop in traffic and... you get the picture. I managed to pull over and get the pin back in but it wouldn't stay. Eventually had to crawl back there and tie it upright to some heavy box full of emergency auto gear (flares, rope, whathaveyou). Did I ever mention one of my biggest irrational fears is of chemicals getting thrown together in the back of a truck and causing a lethal reaction or worse yet, causing an explosion? Yeah, laugh all you want but that's exactly what happened to some poor family on the way home from the beach here in Oregon a few years back. Two out of the 3 kids burned alive while their parents could do nothing to get them out of the backseat (the fire was too hot). The same old bleach/ baking soda? reaction I think that was on CHiPS a long time ago. Bleach and some other common household item, anyway - stuff you'd commonly pick up at the store together.

Needless to say, I'm pretty damned thankful it was just a fire extinguisher.

Peeing on a Stick is Harder than you'd think!

Bad blogger! Bad, bad blogger! Guess I won't be winning any awards any time soon for most consistent posts. In my defense, I've had quite a bit on my mind lately - and not much time to blog with the new job. I'm trying to keep my image squeaky clean for at least a few months so don't expect me to update as regularly as before. Yeah, I know - I *could* blog on my own damned time but by the time I get home the last thing I want to do is get on the computer some more. But I'll try.

So how's the new job, you ask? Pretty nifty, if I dosaysomyself! The first project they gave me really has me stretching myself intellectually - to the point where by the end of the day I've got major brain drain goin' on. The people are nice. I work with three other guys in the IT dept. and then our boss, the VP (of what, I'm still not sure). Hours are good - we're expected to be in "sometime between 8 and 8:30" and work until the job is done. Though without a key yet I can't stay much later than 5:30. Even then, the commute is a breeze - 25 minutes tops. It's 15 with no traffic at all. And I love the part of town I'm in! The office is right down by the river - the Greenway trail is just across a railroad track and small parking lot from the door right outside my cube. I've been trying to take short little walks every afternoon to ease the cramp in my ass from sitting so long. And wonder of wonder... there are windows!!! If I lean back in my chair I can see 'em. If you overlook the dumpsters it's quite a nice little view, and they let in tons of natural light, which I can feel already improving my mood. There are all kinds of nice restaurants and shops in the immediate vicinity - all with parking.

So all things considered, I'm pretty damned happy. I like the work, the company, the culture, the people and the money. I'd almost send my old boss a thank you note if it weren't for the principal of the damned thing. I'm still dying to hear how they're coping without me.... I'm petty enough to want to know that they're struggling. Maybe I should be glad I don't know, though - what if they're doing even better without me? That'd bite the big one. Maybe I should just be glad that my new job's keeping my mind so occupied I'm not obsessing about the old one anymore. For that at least, I'm very thankful.

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In other news, I have yet to get knocked up, despite increased efforts to get me in that condition. This month we tried using one of those "ClearBlueEasy" ovulation detection kits. Easy my ass! Apparently it requires a *certain* amount of urine to work correctly. Twice I *though* I'd peed on it for the requisite 5 seconds, but apparently I'm better at peeing on my hand than on the stick it's holding, because I couldn't even get the reference line to show up after hours, let alone the specified 10 minutes. Of course, it might help not to lose the instructions next time. According to the woman on the end of the 800 help-line, there's a second method where you pee in a cup and stir it with the stick that might be a tad more effective. You can tell a man designed these fucking things - what woman could control her stream of urine well enough to make it accurate?