Deep Throat finally ID'd?

So says MSNBC. Now if they could just figure out the real identity of D.B. Cooper....

Of Other Interest: Here's a really nifty way to keep up with what your elected reps have been up to: Plogress (via Clicked) .

From today's "UnF*ing Believable" File: Doctor's Without Borders workers who reported mass rapes in Darfur being arrested by Sudanese government. Meanwhile, the real criminals go free.

I realize my own posting has sunk to abysmal depths lately. My goal regarding political posts has always been to add something to the mix and not blithely parrot the party line. So if I don't have any particularly unique take on recent happenings I try at the very least to draw attention to stories that aren't being otherwise covered by the MSM or the more popular blogs. What with the new parent chronic yawn syndrome and coming back to work and having to actually, you know... *work* however, I'm finding myself starting a post, then waking up 15 minutes later (keyboard letters embedded in reverse on my forehead*) when someone calls to ask "are you done with XYZ project yet?", then an hour goes by.... then two... then a couple of days and whatever I was going to write about has become really, really old news and I'd be reduced to posting "Dude... what she said" which nobody wants or needs.

So in the interest of providing some kind of new and refreshing political content to my loyal handful of readers besides the occasional commentary on the doings of the Critter, I give you a new Northwest "Hot Topic" news feed (to the right) generously envisioned and implemented by Daniel Kirkdorffer of On the Road to 2008.

Really, I'm not lazy! I'm just a..... little.......slee*yawn*py...
dfa8fdbvjkhdjfh259 ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz*snort*zzzzzzzzzz

*anybody know how to get drool out of a keyboard?

House votes to outlaw spyware: It's about time! Imagine you're flipping back and forth between your favorite home design show and a great movie on cable TV when everytime you click 'last channel' you get diverted to the Home Shopping Channel or QVC. Or your picture in a picture is activated with an infomercial playing in it. Or everytime you start your car your radio channel presets have all been reset. And in order to re-set your presets, you have to stop and restart the car again. Nobody would stand for that shit, would they? But it's allowed on the internet....

Another one from the UnF*ingbelievable file: Medicaid paying for Viagra for convicted sex offenders.

Monday Cat Blogging

Stupid Cat: From When Knitting Was a Manly Art.

Woohoo! Federal Judge strikes down Nebraska gay marriage ban.

Damn those 9th circuit activist judges! Oh, wait.... Nebraska is in the 8th circuit, not the 9th. Oops.

Snip: Attorney General Jon Bruning said he will appeal the ruling. "Seventy percent of Nebraskans voted for the amendment to define marriage as a union between one man and one woman, and I believe that the citizens of this state have a right to structure their constitution as they see fit," Bruning said.

In other words, 70% think they have the right to impose their bigoted, hateful views on the remaining 30%.

I tried to post a new picture of Duncan on the blog in honor of Mom’s Day and his 8 week birthday today, but for some reason Hello won’t work from either work or home. So here you go, compliments of Shutterfly: The RiverFry (aka “the Critter”, “The Funky Monkey”, “Squirmacus”, “Fussy McFussikins”, and “Tortuga”, to name a few). It was a great weekend. I got flowers. And a fuss-free dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant. Best of all, I got smiles from my beautiful baby boy all morning… and spit bubbles. What beats that?

Priceless (From Krup): "Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes that you can do these things. Among them are a few Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or businessman from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, in a letter to his brother, Edgar, in 1956.

Guess Ike never heard the saying "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers". Who said that, anyway? Homer Simpson?

Worrisome

Possible pending civil war in Saudi Arabia over succession of monarchy? (via Pudentilla).

King Fahd might be clinically dead? Where the hell has that headline been? Oh yeah, buried under page 3 (if that) while the “Runaway Bride” gets the banner on page 1. Forget Iran, Syria or North Korea… isn’t anybody the least bit concerned about our getting into something like this: “Hower, the succession is unlikely to be smooth and a new phase of conflict could start in oil-rich Saudi Arabia” up to our overextended military eyeballs??

Just sayin'... the lack of news on this subject is making me very suspicious. I'm feeling like a kid getting set up by a street magician. Keep your eye on this hand, boys & girls.... ignore the one in my pocket.

Friday Afternoon Trivia

Fridge Magnets: Via Flea (Damn you!)

And I’d been wondering what believers would make of the astrological coincidence of Pop John Paul being buried on the same day as a solar eclipse: Yep, it’s the end of the world apparently…. Doomsayers say Benedict Fits End of World Prophecy

Feel Safer? World Terror Attacks Tripled in 2004.

Funny thing is, I’ve had this conversation with Shrub supporters. They counter that since there have not been any additional terror attacks on American soil since 9/11, yes indeedy, we *are* winning the “War on Terror” and they *do* feel safer. I guess if you’re an isolationist redneck who likely has no desire to travel outside your native state, let alone your native country this logic might work. You probably have a huge “Get U.S. Out of the UN!” sign on your lawn, too. Proving that once again, it’s OK for terrorists to kill all the *other* people in *other* countries they want so long as they are not homegrown white American civilian-type people.

Where's Batman when you need him?

The Penguin is sending his crazed disciples to attack America's airports! Via Clicked.

One more thing the Japanese do better than Americans. Imagine corporate/ political leaders actually taking personal responsibility when innocent people die. "Police investigating for possible professional negligence took away boxes of documents from the offices of West Japan Railway Co. (JR West). JR West President Takeshi Kakiuchi and two other executives are likely to resign to take responsibility for the disaster..."

The days of literally falling on one's sword as a matter of honor might be over, but the sentiment apparently lingers on culturally.

Just called Curt from work to see how he's doing. The Fry's got a cold and has been sneezing/coughing the last day or two & his breathing sounds snotty. Curt answers and the Fry's screaming unconsolably in the background. Curt says, "He's been doing this for 3 hours, nonstop. I've got diarrhea and stomach cramps and feel like shit. That's how our day is going."

I wasn't feeling at all guilty before about coming back to work but now I'm rolling in it. On the other hand, this will be as good a test as any of his commitment to being a stay at home Dad. Between this and finding out that adding the Fry to my insurance at work is going to cost us an additional $300/ month he may just change his mind. Don't know how I feel about that. I like having him at home and knowing our boy is being taken care of by one of the two people who love & cherish him the most in this world. And the cost of daycare would just about offset any income he'd be making if he went back to work anyway.....

That sleeping through the night thing? Total fluke. But last night the Fry did sleep 5 1/2 hours so maybe we're headed in that direction. But I'll be quite happy with a 5 hour stretch if that's as good as it gets for awhile.

I go back to work on Monday... half days only for the first week. I'm ready, I think. I'm starting to go stir crazy here at home. I'll miss my baby boy but know Daddy will keep me updated throughout the day of every tear and possible smile. More regular blogging of the social and political commentary variety will probably resume at that time.

101 non-sexual uses for a vibrator

#1: Breaking up clogged milk ducts in breastfeeding women. Seriously. Necessity is indeed the mother of invention and why not try a sex toy that's otherwise gathering dust in the nightstand for a couple more weeks? Warm shower, hot heating pad and then apply vibe to affected area and pump. After 2 days of a painful clog it was like a dam had burst. I'm debating whether or not to share this little gem with the lactation consultants. Somehow, I don't think the Christian one who couldn't even spell "Buddhist" correctly on our pre-admission forms under "religious preference" would be willing to pass it on to other mothers. So I'm sharing it here. Note to Flea: You know in Alabama and Texas how it's illegal to sell any device for the purpose of "genital stimulation"? I'm wondering if they consider boobs "genitals" and if it might be possible to sell sex toys in those states as breastfeeding aids, instead??? Just a thought.

I'm posting from my mother's house down at the Coast. I'm in a much happier state of mind since firing the lactation consultants (and finally being able to immerse myself in a hot tub. Oh heaven!!) . Or, to be more specific.... finally making peace with the idea that it's OK for me to bottlefeed whatever milk I can pump and supplment with formula for the rest. Ironically enough, I think my volume has gone up quite a bit as a result. I was dreading some kind of "nipple confusion!" lecture from the l.c.'s but didn't get it. I think my OB scared 'em a little bit when she called to discuss my teary breakdown in her office last week and to tell them that no, she won't prescribe a drug the FDA has banned (Domperidone). I'd pretty much decided not to try it anyway. As my R.N. mother said... it would be one thing if I were 19, but I'm 33 and getting to an age where possible coronary side effects should be a consideration, especially given my family history of heart disease. And the Reglan and probable depression and fatigue side-effects? No fucking way. My OB put me on Zoloft to combat the depression I'm already feeling. Though truth be told, I think forgiving myself for not being able to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months went a long way to accomplish that already.

The Fry is now 1 month old and doing great. He'd actually gained 9 oz. in 3 days when I went to my final l.c. appointment on Friday... so I know the bottle feeding + supplementing is working. He actually does go between the boob and the bottle pretty easily, with only the occassional need to be reminded of how the real thing works. We bought a baby scale off of Ebay anyway so we can continue to monitor his gain in any case. And it's great to be able to hand him to any of the other very willing hands in our life to feed so I can feel like I have a life of my own again. For instance, today we're going to an actual movie in the middle of the afternoon (prime cluster feeding time) and then maybe, just maybe going to the Indian casino to play a little blackjack while Gramma babysits.

Oh, and you'll never believe this!! He slept through the night last night. Well, from 10:30 until 5 am. Though I'm sure it's a fluke. He didn't really get a good nap all day yesterday... we think due to excitement of socializing with Gramma and friends of Gramma who came over to ooh and aah. So he was exhausted. If it happens again tonight I'll probably fall down on my knees in gratitude to whatever gods gave us such a wonderful baby!

Another disappointing visit to the lactation consultant today. The Fry only gained about 2.5 oz. this week. The minimum pediatricians like to see is something like 3.5 (average of 7). So bottomline... he's still not getting enough milk. And we're back to supplementing. I'm hoping it's a short term set back due to my illness this week (oh, and a clogged milk duct before that) but we'll see. Since we've reached the maximum dose of Fenugreek & Blessed Thistle without seeing enough benefit the next step is to consider prescription drugs. The preference of the l.c. is Domperidone which, unfortunately was recently banned in the U.S. by the FDA due to complications with its intravenous use in very sick patients. The lactation world however reports no such side effects when taken orally by bf-ing mothers. But tell the FDA that. Apparently you can still get it from compounding pharmacies or from overseas, however. The only FDA approved alternative is Reglan, which has known side effects in bf-ing women of severe depression and fatigue. I need any more of either right now about as much as I need another hole in the head. But I'm thinking of asking my OB at my 3 week check up tomorow to prescribe some anti-depressants, so that could offset the potential side effects of the Reglan should we decide to go that route. Anyway. Next l.c. appointment & weigh in is Friday and we'll decide then... after discussing with the pediatrician and O.B. In the meantime...... more nursing and pumping; pumping and nursing.

Moo.

I know I shouldn't feel so bovine for dedicating myself to such a 'noble and worthy' cause, but I can't help it. I'm used to contributing to society (& the wellbeing of my family) mentally, not physically. And especially not by having something (whether infantile or mechanical) suck on the end of my tit for 8+ hours a day. It's a fulltime job and unfortunately, feeling that way. Not wonderous and joyful.... enforced and obligatory. And I know that's affecting my bonding with the Fry, which in turn feeds the depression. I don't like seeing him as a chore. I just want to bask in his incredibly alert & wide eyes, stroke his incredibly soft hair, kiss his little feet and snuggle up for some good long naps.

Just when I was starting to feel pretty good about this whole Mommy thing, and to feel pretty good physically I got nailed with a stomach bug this weekend. Ugh. Now I know why the RiverFry cries when he's soiled his Tidee Didees. But the worst is over, it appears and we're crossing every finger and toe hoping the Fry doesn't get it, too. I just hope the couple of doses of fenugreek that wouldn't stay down/in won't affect my milk supply too much.

Being ill has not helped my mental state, either however and may, just may have brought on some postpartum depression. I'm feeling numb. And at the same time, on the verge of tears - though over what I don't know. It takes every ounce of will I have to stay awake. Sure I'm a bit sleep-deprived so it's natural to crave the downy warm comfort of my bed, but it's more than that. You know that famous Dali painting of the melting clocks ("Persistence of Memory") ? It may be a bit cliche but that's how I feel. I've become obsessed with time... when was the last time I nursed, is it time to do it again? How much sleep have I gotten? When I do sleep I dream of digital clock images. 4:15..... 4:18...4:19 I wake up and only 5 minutes have gone by but I feel like I somehow lost an entire day, or two... or three. My entire life seems to have suddenly entered a strange dimension where time seems to simultaneously both accelerate and move at a crawl. It's just an endless routine of breastfeeding, pumping, diaper-changing and sleeping with a few hours of T.V. watching and baby consoling in between. I forget to eat. Forget to shower. I just feel soul-weary.

Mentally I was expected this but the reality is something else. When people said "this is the hardest thing you'll ever do, but it's so worth it!" I must have thought they were exaggerating. I mean - everybody has kids.. then they do it again and again. How hard could it be?

All I can say is, that "it's so worth it!" part better start kicking in soon!! And thank whatever powers that be for my wonderful husband. As bad as I think I've got it, I know I'm lucky to have such an incredibly supportive and helpful partner. Because all I *have* to do is breastfeed, and sleep, and change the occasional diaper. He takes care of just about everything else. If he only wouldn't hog the computer so much I might remember there's another world outside these four walls!

Speaking of which.... was I imagining it or was Wolfowitz seriously given the keys to the World Bank last week? WTF??? Please, oh please tell me it was a hallucination? On the other hand, I guess it may be better to have him someplace where he can only waste money and not human lives. Having him out of the Pentagon might be a very good thing. But the World Bank? Fuck.A.Duck.

The thing about babies? The more you put in 'em, the more that comes out :) What with the 2 hour feedings, we're changing a lot of diapers. But things are getting better. I'm getting a lot more milk when I pump and didn't have to supplement with formula at all yesterday. Today's L.C. appt. confirmed it. The Fry's back up to within an ounce of his birthweight which means he's gaining well and we're on the right track. She's letting us increase time between feedings to 2 1/2 - 3 hours, thank Maude, but tells me I still need to pump more. Blah. But do-able.

Today was also his 2 week pediatrician check up, and circumcision. Yes, circumcision. I agonized over whether to do it or not, and read all the pro's and con's on all the blogs (discussion gets quite heated about the subject) and found myself agreeing with both sides of the argument. I really don't like unnecessary mutilation but also really don't like the higher incidence of STD's/ genital warts and possibly cervical cancer for sexual partners of uncut men. Yes, I know the jury is still out on the latter. But Curt was pretty set on doing it and I was swayed by the anecdotal evidence of family. To whit: from my step-Dad (ex-merchant mariner) apparently there are lots of guys in the Navy who were uncut for whom erections were incredibly painful. Basically, the foreskin doesn't expand along with the penis inside and it tears/cracks. From my Mom (E.R. nurse) , for elderly men who are uncut it get's very difficult to keep it as clean as is necessary and they are prone to getting very painful adhesions/lesions. And if you're going to do it, much better to do so as an infant than later in life when it's more painful/traumatic if those problems develop.

I only had to step outside for the initial shot of anesthetic (I just couldn't stand the gut-wrenching, unconsolable crying) but watched the rest of the procedure. The doctor used a method with minimal cutting - he makes one little incision to insert a bell like device under the foreskin that has a groove on it where a string tied tightly around the outside of the foreskin rests, cutting off blood flow to the part to be excised. It will fall off in 5 - 7 days. Curt managed to console him very well throughout.

The pediatrician says he's the picture of good health. He can already raise his head a little and is getting really strong - he'll be rolling over in no time. I'm falling more and more in love every day.

The Fry is 1 week old and couldn't be more adorable. Well, letting us sleep for more than an hour at a time would raise his cherubian status quite a bit. According to the lactation consultant we saw for the 2nd time yesterday, my milk volume has not increased yet to the level he needs. So she's put us on a 2 hour feeding schedule and a Fenugreek (sp?) and Blessed Thistle herbal combo that's supposed to do the trick. In the meantime we're supplementing with formula and whatever pumped breastmilk I can provide. Which Daddy likes since it means he can participate in feedings. Gramma went home Sunday amidst many grateful tears.

I'm finding it amazing how well you can function when sleep deprived....

Finally, the Rest of the Story....

We just got home around 3 hours ago. Wonderful, but scary, too. Thankfully my wonderful mother is here and will be staying with us for a few days or a week to help out - thank Maude we all get along great and it's truly a joy to have her around.

So the abbreviated birth story is... they admitted me to the Birthplace Monday a little before noon. The plan was to have my doc break my water as soon as she was available, and see if that got things moving. It didn't. So the new plan was to get an epidural, then begin pushing low amounts of pitocin & gradually ramping up the dosage to move things along as needed ( I was still only dilated 2 cm and the contractions weren't getting closer together - though they were getting much, much more painful). But just as the pitocin began working it's charm, my epidural wore off. The anesthetist thought she might have been a little off-center the first time around and she was right. So we got a 2nd epidural (around 5 pm?) - and once they confirmed it was a really good block they started to ramp up the pitocin. The Fry's vitals were great up to that point, but sometime around 6pm I think his heartrate begain dipping right *after* the contractions which apparently is a "very bad sign". Then it REALLY dipped - from about 135 to 60 and all of a sudden the room got VERY crowded and I got an oxygen mask to "help the baby". I was half looped from the drugs (some kind of morphine derivative I think on top of the epidural) so the details are sketchy - but remember the crushing disappointment when I heard the worst from the doc - she thought I should get a C-section immediately, but offered to wait 15 minutes to see if things began to improve first. I'd been very calm and feeling decidedly zen (thanks in no part to the drugs) beforehand but this was devestating.

I felt like such a failure... we didn't care too much about having a "perfect" natural birth plan but the one thing we did feel strongly about was we did not want to do a C-section. A few years ago my best friend had tragically lost her first baby *at* delivery even after having an emergency C-section (placenta had detached from the uterus) . Of course the following 2 babies had to be delivered via C-section as well; and during the last one we nearly lost her due to massive bleeding. So needless to say I've always been very aware that even with full advantage of today's modern medicine bad things can still happen. As a result the one thing I was fearful of with this pregnancy was being wheeled unconscious into an operating room.

Anyway - I opted to give it another 15 minutes, but then the next 2 contractions I felt a really strange, almost losing conscious wave-like feeling that coincided with the dips in the babie's heartrate. So the fear kicked in and I changed my mind & said "never mind - let's do it now". Then they told me I would be completely aware - they'd just expand the epidural I already had and wouldn't put me under. And Curt could scrub in, of course. Which was a huge relief.

Surgery went perfectly fine - I was numb from the chest down and fully aware. The Fry arrived screaming as they pulled him out of his cozy little nest. He was alert and beautiful from the start. Color was peachy-pink, he had a head full of dark hair and no conehead. They couldn't find any tell-tale sign of what caused his distress. Cord wasn't around his neck, placenta was perfectly attached and there was nothing wrong with him. They think he was just too far post-term and his skull had already partially fused... so it couldn't squish as it needed to get into the birth canal. He's got a little triange-shaped bruise mark on his forehead that seems to support that theory.

More tomorow - I'm exhausted. Thanks for all your well-wishes. I feel so blessed to have such a booster section of support in my corner.